Today was the first day of school around here, and so I awoke to the sounds of school buses dropping children off next door. (We live right next door to the elementary school.)
But this also means I get depressed again. For now Boom is gone back too, and until the sound of buses no longer hits my ears in the morning, I will miss him. I just feel more stable when he's around. I don't even get to talk to him once all day....
It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since we moved in. This weekend will mark that year to the day. A year ago tomorrow, on a Tuesday evening, we came to the house to put in our mailbox and then over to the lawyer's to close. I simply sat on the porch swing with Rugger, my just-born.
And then on Wednesday we started moving stuff over. Mostly dishes to be put away in the kitchen. But I didn't get much done. My head was in the clouds as I wanted to hold my SO new son, and I wanted to look at my SO empty house.
But that didn't last for long. The sound of children playing the the playground on the gentle breeze through the screen door turned to the sound of many men asking me where to put this dresser, that box.....and then they were gone. And we were left with the knowledge that the washer and dryer didn't work without some parts and hoses, and with a newborn and toddler in cloth diapers and a hubby going to work in nice clothes daily, a washer and dryer was something of a priority to me.
And then Friday night approached and with boxes stacked to the ceiling in front of the fireplace and both kids long gone to bed, I stayed up past midnight waiting for Boom and putting thing after thing in its new place. I felt SO alone, happy though I was to be here.
And I feel SO alone now. Happy though I am that we are settled and Rugger is almost walking. But I want someone older than 3 to converse with, even just once a week.
And today is clouded over, which doesn't help.
I hope I can get the kiln up and running soon, so I can at least look forward to that. And once the kids can play outside without crawling on the cold, wet, ground, I can look forward to more outings....
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