Monday, July 11, 2005

Ohh, how time flies.

I haven't been able to post because this past weekend I was at my parents' house in Ohio, and their browsers didn't support whatever it is that allows me to post my stuff here, so I'll try to remember all that I wanted to say.

First off, on Friday I got to talk for four hours with my very good friend from high school. We both really enjoyed the time together and wish we lived closer. On Saturday I saw two of my newest cousins, the son and daughter of two of my immediate cousins, born just a day apart from each other. They both were sleeping, but I didn't mind. I know what it's like for someone to visit and try to wake up your sleeping infant when all you want is some time to yourself and the visitor to leave your baby alone. So we didn't stay too long, but it was neat seeing my childhood buddies become parents. Now I won't feel so alone at Thanksgiving and Christmas, as I did the last two years since I was the only parent among us 'kids.'

Then in the afternoon we attended my good friend's from quizzing wedding (I'm not sure how to do that grammatically correct, please excuse all grammar in all my posts - again, I hope I can learn to homeschool my children better than I learned.) It was a sweet wedding, and I got to see a couple of old friends there, but not as many as I expected, and not the ones I expected to see. For instance, the one couple I sat next to with my two kids (Boom couldn't come, he had a passing camp) was someone I knew from Bible Quizzing, but they were (and are) from the memorabilia area of Pittsburgh. But it was neat because sometimes I feel as if that part of my past is only a good memory, and all aspects of it have disappeared completely from my life. I so desperately miss it at times, and it felt good to reconnect, if only for a few hours. Hope does stay alive with even a small spark, does it not?

After the kids were in bed I attempted to clean two pasta machines. One is newer and the one I had used a few times for my polymer clay. The other one is really old and I'm going to use it for clay and use the newer one for pasta. Anyway, they were fairly easy to take apart and clean, by reading the directions from the Sculpey website, but putting them together was by far the most difficult thing I've done since giving birth last August. (Not that this means it was the most difficult thing to do, but just the most difficult thing I've done...which doesn't look to good for those who already think me to be boring.) But we got it done and I eventually went to bad way too late.

On Sunday another friend came to visit for a couple of hours, and I must admit that I felt somewhat down during the conversation and afterwards. I guess sometimes you don't know someone as much as you think you do, and you know even less how they must view you. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the visit, but once I again I wish I could just go back to my childhood and live perpetually in ignorant bliss sometimes.

Funny, though, how when I am faced with a person who must think of my life and my goals as boring, pointless, or simply not inspiring...that it is then that I feel just the opposite. I see that my position in life right now is one of importance, and that as much as I feel the hassle of demanding young children, it is by no means a job I'd walk away from to pursue something more "worthy" in the eyes of others. I may die having never achieved any lofty goals. But if I can raise my children to be what God meant them to be, then I know I will be happy.

That's not to say that I won't still wonder about my own calling and pursue my own desires and ambitions. But my family comes first, period.


We got to play "Screw Your Neighbor" (a card game) with my sister and hubby and my parents, though Boom didn't play. He didn't grow up playing cards, so he doesn't always join in since he feels like he'll not play well. But once the kids are old enough to not want to eat the cards, I'll definitely make sure our family is a card-playing lot! The hours of fun I've had playing board games and especially card games with both sides of my family can't even be counted...

On a side note I was contemplating about fashion a little. Since when did size 10 become a "plus" size? I hate it that the stores carry cute little outfits for people size 8 and under, but once you hit size 10 you apparently aren't allowed to look that cute. The very real curves a size 10 and above body has apparently aren't fit for cute little outfits anymore. And I don't even want to imagine what it would be like if I had a really full figure. I just walk past that section and want to cringe. It's like no one wants to take the time to measure a real woman, or no one thinks that women over certain sizes should look good. And they can look good, you know.

The other side thought I had was while I was looking at a cookie box's "nutritional" information. We might as well just call it "ingredient percentage list" since we know there's really nothing "nutritional" about it.

Anyway....

But I'm tired from the drive back out here and I have to unpack yet, and my son is fussing for me, and my daughter wants her cup refilled and I just plain don't have any thoughts left. And I don't even want to think about all the things I have to remember in the next two weeks, or months, for that matter. But I look forward to football, at least. Boom's team creamed the competition at the passing camp, and he was pretty excited. I really do hope he gets his chance at a D-10 title this year.
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