Sunday, August 31, 2008

While I Can

Since I seem to blog a lot when I'm feeling down, I figured I might as well post again while I'm feeling happy. That's, what?, three whole blogs in a row! Yeah!!!

Anyway, today was another day that went pretty good. Booger was tired during church and so he fussed the entire time through worship and down in the nursery, but then went down for a 2 1/2 hour nap, which is unheard of around here...

I did some "fall cleaning" yesterday, which felt good. I shampooed our carpet for the second time since buying our Kurby over a year ago (the first time was less than a month ago!) and rearranged our lazy boy chair to where Boom had wanted it originally. I had it my way for 2 years, so I'm trying it his way, just because I do love him so!

And the twins are just being great for me, as well as they can be between all the trouble they cause! But it's just plain looking up right now.

I am excited about Boom's birthday as we got some things I know he'll like. He's hard to buy for as he doesn't really like gifts. He says he feels blessed enough just to have us (awww) but I'm a gift-giver, so I like seeing him enjoy things. And I also think I know what Pumpkin will be getting.

Now if only our team would just get to the playoffs and do well, this should be a good fall. Though I'm not sure about winter - I heard geese over two weeks ago for the first time, and that can't really be good, can it?

I am also thinking about starting another blog when I get into my clay again. So I can bore anyone with my step-by-step stuff. I can't wait for that, either. I actually found a thread over at mothering.com where the women were discussing the fact that they literally physically ache to create, which is hard to do when attachment parenting little ones. You can't just create in 10 minute spurts - you need to dig down deep and let yourself go....

So I'm not alone in my all-consuming yearning for my clay. They might have different yearnings, but still....painting, sculpting, whatever...it's the same need.

I almost forgot to mention that tonight the twins didn't go to sleep while nursing. So I just took them upstairs and laid with them. And I've done this a few times before with similar results. They both lay there quietly, Booger squirming a bit, then settling, with Birdie somehow laying on me, face down or turned away from me but with the majority of her body touching mine. And this is how they fall asleep. And I absolutely love it.

And lastly, here's a quote from the swingset:

"Hey, Rugger...you remember when you farted in Birdie's face?" :laughs:

"Yeah..." :chuckles: "That was funny...."

Kids....

Friday, August 29, 2008

So THIS is what you do...

Okay, I tend to love crafts, and science experiments, and all such fun things. Maybe that's why I love unschooling. But this idea came straight from my son, Rugger.

Ever since I brought home a book (Make It Work! Machines - from Scholastic) from the library on Sales Day (biggest yard sale of the year here) he has been begging me to help him build this rocket:
So I finally decided to do it today. We got the cardboard out, the babies loved helping with the tape and glue, and this is what OURS looked like:


Not quite as colorful! But as you'll see, just as functional! Here's the video:



And lest you think I only cater to my boy, my daughter asked me to make her a marionette for her after seeing one at the zoo. Now THIS took some time to make!


Yes, it's a zebra. And there are strings connected to the head, and all four legs. I used straws, toilet paper roll, pom poms, and felt. For the handle I used bamboo skewers which I cut to length. There was no directions for this guy - he's all from my head!


Booger has decided that he hates bathing now. Pumpkin went through the same phase, and he'll just scream while I wash him and quickly get him out, much like Pumpkin at that age. They were also the only babies who screamed while infants bathing...

One of the booster moms has been sending blueberries home with Boom and I am LOVING it! I made batchs of pancakes, a pie, muffins, have been eating them on my homemade granola with yogurt, and of course just plain! They are delicious and I'm addicted! Thank you!

Our friend from church, who is more like a grandma or mother to me, also brought over 3 gallons of applesauce from her dutchess apple tree. I'm so thankful for such generous people in my life.

It reminds me of last year when so many people helped out with the twins. There was supper for a couple of months, and things still came pouring in long afterwards. We truly felt like we had one huge extended family in our community. Thank you, everyone.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Little Princess

I can't say for sure that Birdie will love dressing up as she gets older, but I DO know that for now she absolutely cracks me up!



She was running around buck naked with these necklaces on, and I just couldn't resist! She loves putting ANYTHING on or taking it off. Necklaces, shirts, blankets, her daddy's underwear, my bras!

Anyway, I forgot to mention that I also made homemade caramels for the first time this last weekend. My friend and neighbor (one and the same) came over to help me and did most of the work while the two little ones kept crying for me to hold them (I can't wait for the stranger anxiety phase to be done with...one is bad enough but with two!)

We used a candy thermometer I just bought at this cool kitchen store in the mall (I don't ever go to the mall, but wanted to see what Old Navy had for sale, so stopped in the kitchen place for the thermometer) and it is THE COOLEST place ever. So many gadgets! So many colors! Too many kids with me wanting to grab it all and chew on it or play with it!!! Which is good, because I would have spent enough time in there to convince myself to buy SOMETHING I don't really need....

Anyway, we had to wait for the caramel to cook enough to cut and individually wrap, and even dipped some in melted Dove chocolate (yum!) The chocolate ones kind of became puddles as it was so warm in the house that the caramel was starting to melt by that time. But it still tasted great.

Tomorrow's our first game of the season. Boom's already dealt with a couple of injuries, more politics, and some other stuff. I so wish I could watch the game from the stands - cold as it gets eventually. I miss watching the band and hearing all the people, and being able to SEE what's going on. But as it is the kids are going to drive me nuts, and realistically they probably shouldn't have to be drug to the games, but what can I do? I want to be there, and I'm not leaving them at home. It's just too bad that my parents don't live here...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Affirmation

Well, today I spent awhile online at Mothering.com discussion boards. I go there when I need to hear other people who think like me so I feel better about the choices I make. I know, how lame....

Anyway, I was glad to see other people discussing homebirth and the fact that even though we take responsibility for anything that MIGHT go wrong during a home birth, it doesn't mean we are putting our children or ourselves at risk just so we can have a cozy birth. Truly. I don't get why people think that we haven't informed ourselves, studied, debated, and even prayed before we've made these decisions.

Or that midwives are some hillbilly yocals who have no idea what to do if a baby is in distress. Geez. You'd think that we were performing surgery with our own hands the way some people talk about it.

And then there's the unschooling crowd. It was neat how a lot of them were discussing that the term "unschooling" is rather negative, so the alternatives were brought up, though most people said they simply don't label what they do. I tend to do both - mention the word "unschooling" or else just describe loosely that I don't use textbooks and schedules and such. Most people haven't a clue what I'm trying to say, anyway, and it's probably best they don't else they think my kids are learning nothing because I'm not teaching them.

But the coolest part was this link:

http://fivefreebirds.blogspot.com/2008/07/unschool-v-school.html

It was so neat to see that he did okay even though he never once was taught anything in the traditional sense. And then I caught this:

http://fivefreebirds.blogspot.com/2008/08/unschooled-v-schooled-comments.html

So we'll have to see what it's like when he's done.

Anyway, it made me feel better to see the end result of what I'm starting now. It's those little tidbits that I need to keep me going.

I should have mentioned that I got Rugger (well, it's for all the kids) a balance bike from Kinderbike. He loves it and is getting very good at gliding down our small grade behind the house (I mean VERY small grade...) I wish they sold these in Wal-mart but oh, well. He loves it, and insisted on the horn that his grandmother got him, as well as the mirror. I do love that kid!

Pumpkin and I finished a puzzle book we started yesterday. I do miss going through things like that with her. We've also been playing puzzle games on the computer. She picks them up very well, and it surprises me sometimes.

I'll say again I'm enjoying more the groove we are in for now. If only the babies would stop trying to destroy everything! Birdie was heading down the driveway in the general direction of the road, and both of them keep playing in the dog's water and eating his food. They've been tearing off the toilet paper again (this time it's mostly Birdie) and she'll tear up the diaper wipes as well. She even threw a toothbrush and cup in the toilet, though Booger's the one who figured out that it flushes....so they make a terrific, terrible team. *sigh*

This, too, unfortunately, shall pass. And I'll miss it...sometimes :)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My Alternate Life

Today was the first day that Pumpkin did NOT go to school. I mean, she didn't go to school for the past two years as well, when all her friends were in preschool. And our church DOES have an outstanding preschool which is only a couple hours for two days of the week, so it wouldn't have HURT her or anything...I just chose not to send her...

But today is the day that officially everyone who is schooling their children by kindergarten sent them off, and Pumpkin remained home. So officially, I am homeschooling. Or mostly just NOT schooling...

We had a good day, mostly. We got up when the babies did, ate breakfast, went on a walk, played outside, read books, ate lunch, played outside some more, and just relaxed. Mostly the same stuff we've been doing all summer long. When the kids (or rather babies) weren't getting into trouble I was reading a book.

It's amazing how much they are growing, and I love it. I so look forward to this year and the coming ones as they start understanding physical dangers more and I only have to deal with the emotional and mental and spiritual aspects of parenting. Or rather FOCUS on them, as I'm sure there will be other physical hurdles in my future (can anyone say ER and sports???)

But overall, I had a good day. Though I did fantasize a lot about my pottery.

I don't know if it's just me or if anyone else does this, but I talk to "myself" a lot, only it's not me, it's the person I WANT to be talking to, or maybe I'll be thinking about what I'll type into my blog later (95% of what I THINK about typing, I never do. I only post about 5% of the blogs I've typed in my head, due to time and energy....)

I will do this with my lips visibly moving, however, and I'm sure people must have seen me while on walks doing this, and I wonder what they think of me. If they wonder if I'm crazy. And maybe I am.

But I can't help it. I picture the best scenario possible for my future. I always do. This is not to say I never worry or wonder about my future. I do. A lot. But not while fantasizing. When fantasizing, everything goes my way, and works out, and I am good at what I do. Call it positive thinking, or what-have-you. It's how I pictured my births, for that matter. How I pictured my marriage, my kids, etc.

And strangely enough, many times things DO turn out pretty close to what I picture, though not always. Luckily I have enough pessimism in me to recognize that the very worst MAY happen instead, and if or when it does, I take the blow in a "I knew it" sort of way, and deal with it.

Either way, I was lost in thought much of today. I'm glad I never had to take a philosophy class, because I think it would have killed me. Literally. I was thinking about how what is best or right for me is not best or right for the world, and I do this often. I go in circles as I try to reason and make the logic work, and it just doesn't.

I can't rationalize how much control a person or people should have over lives. Who decides what is right and wrong? Who has the authority to enforce it? We can create lives and prolong lives, but we can't end them? Why is one end of the life spectrum allowed but not the other? Because it's positive? Not always. Some babies that aren't aborted are beaten to death. Some babies not left to die live on machines that eat and breathe for them, and brain waves hardly register at all. I wouldn't call that positive. Or some people are in so much pain they pray daily to leave this earth. And yet think that the higher road is to prolong their agony....

But I cannot say who it is who can judge these things apart from God. I cannot say whether creating life in a tube, or cloning, or pausing life is okay.

When does the individual's choice become overridden by another individual's right? If my son had died in childbirth, would you blame me for his death because of my choice to homebirth? What if he had died in the hospital...there is no blame because I was in the "right" place? Or is it because you can blame the professionals? Is that like blaming the school when your children do not learn?

Or is a child falls ill to a simple disease that we have vaccines for - is their parent to blame for not vaxing, yet when a child falls ill to the vaccine and dies - the parent is not to blame because it's the "normal" and accepted thing to do?

When is discipline considered abuse, and who decides how much right another has to oversee this? If I decide to use home remedies instead of use antibiotics, but it is found out later that I should have used the medicine, am I wrong? What about the mother who smokes in front of her kids, knowing the harm. Should she be taken away?

In a world where morals are relative, who decides? We discussed a book last month called "The Infidel" where the author points out that we are protecting the Islam religion in the name of tolerance, but denying the muslim women their rights as humans as they are being beaten and killed in the name of Allah. Yet if we step in and prohibit them from practicing their religion, then who will next stop Christians or Buddists or Hindus from practicing?

We have protected children in public schools by giving them the easy road and a way out. In the name of kindness we have stripped them of ever learning how to cope in the real world. We promote sameness and yet strive to remain unique.

Have humans always struggled thus?

I try to live as naturally as possible. As if mankind had never moved past the garden. And yet I recognize the benefits we have acheived as well. So I, too, am an oxymoron. And yet I have peace with what I have chosen.

I just wish others agreed. And yet they can't. Because by doing so, they automatically condemn their own choices. We can agree to disagree...and I guess that's what I'll have to live with. But darn it if I'm not so difficult that I actually wish we COULD all agree. Me and my black & white world....

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Pictures!

Okay, so I changed my look just a tad (I still love the old one, what can I say?) and I got to add some pics of my favorite people! But while I'm at it, let me bombard you with some more from our recent happenings:

You'll notice that Pumpkin is not smiling in most pictures. She thinks she can't smile and so as soon as you grab the camera, will stop smiling, but if you ask her to smile, she tries too hard and makes a very fake smile that is almost worse than not smiling (thus her reason for thinking she can't smile.) So she's not unhappy, per se, just not able to naturally smile at the moment...


This is the two pouch slings I made from one of my Moby wraps.
I've actually used the slings like this a couple of times now.


This is the stroller I push the kids in each day almost 2 miles. The work out is worth it!

Here are the two little ones chillin' on the counter while I cook. I have pictures of the older two doing the same thing, actually. My kids hang out here often.

Here are the four of them on a rock at the zoo.

Here is one of Rugger climbing the ropes at the Pittsburgh Zoo.

Here is Pumpkin sliding at the same place as the ropes.


At the hotel the kids had way too much fun

And lastly, here is a link to a place where I posted some pictures of me tandem nursing or the kids co-sleeping:

http://www.naturallyparentingtwins.com/drupal/

It's a great site where I don't feel weird for parenting the way I do!

Growing So Quickly

We went to the Erie Zoo yesterday, just the six of us, and we had a pretty good time. The babies slept on the way there while the older two watched Sponge Bob (and Rugger only asked once about 5 minutes out if we were there yet.) So Boom and I got to chat some without any interruptions, which was nice.

It's amazing how just a couple of months can make such a big difference. In April my parents went with me and the kids to the same zoo, and the babies hated it. Wanted held (by only me) all day. This time they loved it - the train, the carousel (though Birdie was scared once the ride actually started up and needed held), even the animals. Birdie would do her sweet little amused giggle when she saw the animals move, and Booger would point if we pointed to something (though he didn't aways see what we were looking at as was evidenced by his pointing to a rope while Daddy was pointing to the animal BEYOND the rope!)

We ate lunch at the playground and the older two couldn't wait to play, so we pushed the babies for awhile in the swings. I do wish this zoo was bigger, but it makes it easy to go up and head home. The downside is the ride there is an hour, as is back, of course, so that kind of stinks for the gas and time.

But these past couple of days have been good to me. The babies are at a good stage right now, for the most part. They can climb this little stairs and slide set I got from our church's thrift store for 5 dollars. Birdie slides on it the "correct" way sitting up, and Booger will laugh and just throw his body on it belly down and slide down feet first. Birdie has taken a liking to stuffed animals (and dolls until I made one "talk"to her) and will hug them to her chest which is too cute! Booger still is such a stinker and will sniff out the remotes and phone (he actually dialed 9-1-1 the other day so I have to really hide it now) and will eat paper, dirt, and dog food like I don't feed him or something!

I just look at them and I love this age. Their little curls at the napes of their necks, their fine hair and bright eyes. Their waddling little gait and huge grins just because. They seem on the verge of using actual words, which I can't wait for.

It's strange. I don't want any more kids, and I really don't want to be pregnant ever again (not that I could - we took care of it on Boom's half), but there was a part of me that recalled being at all the zoos last year when I was pregnant, and I must admit that a part of me is sad that that stage in my life is over. I will never again be with child or birth one into this world. And I don't want to - but it's just strange that being a woman means that you wear different hats in your life, more so I think than men. And two of those hats have forever passed in my lifetime for me. I was more than blessed to have known them, and I will enjoy the next phase probably more so. But still, it was strange knowing that that part of me is gone, if you will.

It was sweet. Thursday night I was walking in the yard holding Booger's hand, and he would take a few steps, then look up at me and smile, walk some more, look up and smile. And my heart just melts. These two are definitely at the point where I really start enjoying the journey. I look at Rugger and Pumpkin and I can't believe how they've gotten here so quickly.

Rugger says to Boom yesterday "Don't eat all that, Daddy - we just bought it!" regarding the Nutella. What he doesn't know is that it' s been ME eating it all up! He moved all the toys out of the yard so Boom could mow, even though Boom wasn't home, yet. I can't recall what it was that Pumpkin said the other day that impressed me, but she is getting too smart for me sometimes. I love it :)

Well, I'm going to see if I can change the template for my blog now that I have DSL...